Healthy in Paranoid Times

Coronavirus Diary 1

Life goes on.

Schools are canceled, shops are closed, businesses are shut down, and in New York City, restaurants are delivery / pickup only. But life goes on?

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I absolutely cannot focus at work. Can anyone? I’m trying, I’m really trying here, even without reading the news all damn day long, but it’s hard to focus deeply on my work when the world is happening out there. Yet, I’m paid the big bucks, have healthcare, have a safety net. I’m grateful for this miracle and should make the most of it while I can. But it’s a struggle.

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Talked to Mom tonight on the phone. She’s overall good. Somewhat freaked out, but mostly good. She’s had a winter cough for months, but in the last day or two it’s left her feeling unusually short of breath, so she’s slightly worried. But thankfully, no fever yet. She’s ready to call the doctor if things get worse, though.

Called Dad too, and was relieved to hear he’s on board with the quarantine, with hand washing, with even keeping the kids at home. I expected to have to convince him to take this seriously, but the man never ceases to surprise me, and I’m glad I don’t have to change his mind. Today.

Myself? I’m having about one mild panic attack (a term I don’t use lightly) per day, and am trying to get that under control. They stem mostly from uncertainties I won’t write about here, because, well, they’re uncertain and that’s not going to help any nervous readers out there. Beyond that I’m doing okay. Body is healthy, appetite is healthy. Trying to talk to friends and family as much as I can. It’s early days yet. Early, early days. And I’m trying to keep ahead of feelings of isolation as best I can. Text threads, calls, and video chat are my remedy thus far.

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Life goes on. But it’s so supremely weird! We’re self-quarantined and taking it day by day. No one thing feels too out of place given the world today, but at a macro-level: we’re fucking quarantined?? The foreground is fine, but the background is chaos.

Life goes on.

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